


All Hallow's Butt Touch

by Kymopoleia



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, M/M, Polydins, and never finished, but... just take it, halloween fic, this was written pre season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 19:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12092172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kymopoleia/pseuds/Kymopoleia
Summary: this was originally written for a shance nsfw skype group i was in but i never finished it so just... read it okay it's good i promise





	All Hallow's Butt Touch

Pidge had never encountered the idea of taking too long to get ready. She’d always been a no-fuss kind of girl. Even on Halloween, when the entire day was about getting dressed up and either acquiring obnoxious amounts of candy or getting drunk and making out with your friends too much, she just didn’t take up much time.

It was, actually, Halloween. She loved the time of year, don’t get her wrong. Long sleeves and big sweaters were among her favorite things to wear (especially due to both her brother and one of her boyfriends being gossipy knitting whores) and autumn was her favorite time of year. The air got colder, the leaves fell, and the internet got weirdly into the mood. It was amazing.

What wasn’t amazing was said gossipy knitting whore- boyfriend, not brother- somehow managing to spend an hour getting ready.

Pidge had been done in five minutes. She’d started late. Lance had showered first while she finished composing an email to a professor explaining that she wouldn’t be able to make it to class tomorrow (fully anticipating a raging hangover despite however much water Lance would make her drink and however much food Hunk would make her eat. All of it would be in vain and she’d vomit in class), only to receive a simple “Class is cancelled 2morrow anyways, I’m already wasted. Enjoy yourself, Coran.” Single line of text to ease her fears.

Her own shower had been, admittedly, long. Maybe she shouldn’t say she was done in five minutes. She was done in thirty minutes, with twenty five of those minutes being standing in the shower, scratching at whatever bumps and bruises she’d acquired since the morning before, and quietly humming different verses from terrible pop songs that Lance was getting stuck in her head in preparation for karaoke.

The remaining five minutes was toweling off, pulling on a pair of cute underwear and a sports bra- no such thing as wire bras and vodka, not in her house- and yanking the billowy gray dress over her head. Then the barely-heeled green boots, blow drying her hair and raking a comb through it messily, then plopping the green hat on her head.

Simple.

Lance didn’t seem to do simple.

His outfit wasn’t very elaborate. The concept for their costume wasn’t even elaborate. She was a witch and he was her cat familiar. Slutty cat familiar. She’d suggested he be a warlock, but he insisted on being a slutty cat.

His shower had been a modest ten minutes, and when he got out he put on a quick facial and shaved his legs. She wouldn’t have ever dared do something so preposterous, but he had, and sure it suited him but it was still an odd concept. She was honestly guesstimating on what he’d accomplished while she was in the shower, because when she got out he was just barely wiping his face clean and still wearing a bathrobe.

His toes and fingernails were painted, for no discernible reason, light blue. It was cute, but not really useful.

She focused on herself for those five minutes, and in that time he had… Applied foundation evenly.

Pidge found herself reading a book while he did the rest. Eyeshadow, eyeliner, blush, mascara, light lipstick, the careful outlining of a more catlike nose and whiskers. It took time becoming perfect, apparently, because twenty more minutes went by in dead silence while he worked.

Then he dropped the towel- that got her attention. Any chance to look at his ass sway was nice. He pulled on the little blue crop top that barely covered his chest (a bit risqué, a bit attractive, a bit tempting to just reach over and squeeze the soft skin, lightly flick the nipple and roll it around), a pair of gray boy shorts, a pair of high waisted denim shorts, and then a pair of comfortable sneakers. The shorts had customized back pockets, a pink pawprint on one and the other an entirely different denim, light pink with tiny white spots. Then Lance put on the choker with the bell on it, the gray cat ears, tied the tail to the back of his shorts, and he was complete.

After an hour.

“How do I look?” Lance picks up a tiny plastic pumpkin delicately and poses with it, one hand on his hip. “Do I look like a slutty cat?”

“Did you cut yourself shaving?” Pidge manages to blurt out, finally noticing the bandaid on his knee.

Lance blushes and throws the pumpkin at her. “Yes. But doesn’t it look cute?”

“It fits you.” She stands, wobbling for a heartbeat and then being ashamed for two. This was barely an extra inch of height! “Why are you wearing that much makeup? You know we’re just going to kiss it off you. And you get really hot when you’re drunk.”

Lance rolls his eyes. “It’s the point. You start the night out hot, and when it’s over you’re a hot mess.”

Pidge steps into his space slowly, skimming her hand over his jeans, over his bare stomach, to cup the soft, squishy skin she’d been unable to stop thinking about for a minute before. He shivers. “You’re always a hot mess.”

Lance stays in her hand for a second before he pulls back, heart hammering. “Well, let’s get downstairs. I know those drama queens are probably dying waiting for us!”

Pidge laughs, but she knows he’s more nervous than she could ever be. “Want me to step down first and leave the grand entrance for you?”

He nods gratefully, and she gives him a second to grab the other plastic pumpkin in the room, a kid’s trick or treating bucket that he’d thought would make all the blue in his outfit pop. For whatever reason, it worked, as well as playing on the supposedly innocent part of being a slutty cat, and giving him a place to safely store his phone and some condoms, in case he did things at the party. And extra socks, she knew his thing about socks.

Pidge steps out of the room and is so very grateful for their college living space. It’s not only not a dorm, but also not her parent’s house! Already it had so much going for it. More than that, it was Shiro’s house. He used to share it with her brother and another friend of theirs, but then she had moved in with her fiancé, and the whole thing was complicated. Pidge had gotten in because her brother insisted she get his old room, and while it was very lucky not to have to deal with the stress of renting, and Shiro was a benevolent landlord/roommate. Keith had already been here when she’d moved in, and then Lance and Hunk.

The house had two floors and an attic. The first floor was simple, master bedroom, living room, kitchen, a bathroom, and a tiny office/library room that they’d mutually agreed to keep all the books in. Then the second floor had two bedrooms, a smaller room that they’d, again, mutually agreed was the cuddle room and filled with couches, blankets, and fluffy pillows, and the second bathroom. The attic inexplicably had a third bathroom in it and was where they tended to study.

So, big ass house for the five messiest people in the galaxy.

Hunk and Lance would have shared rooms if they’d had a choice, but Keith wasn’t moving his things and Lance’s proclaimed rivalry with him, as well as the refusal of anyone to give up the communal spaces of the cuddle room and the attic, so Hunk got to be roommates with Keith and Pidge met the enigma of _everything_ that Lance was.

At first she’d been a bit anxious about rooming with him due to his flirtiness, but he was really a different person when they were alone. He listened to music, he messed with makeup, he knitted, and he joked. It was calmer and a lot less of a constant romance attack than she’d expected.

The circumstances of getting into the relationship were a much longer story.

Pidge steps to the stairwell and sees Lance out of the corner of her eye, tapping his thigh and grinning. She steps down, and can immediately hear the quiet conversation end. By the time she reaches the bottom there’s three pairs of eyes on her, and she understands why Lance hadn’t wanted to go first.

The other three fifths of their relationship look pretty great too.

Hunk had gone for a Cyborg outfit, a rehash of his convention costume from when he and Lance had gone as Cyborg and Beast boy. It was a fantastic costume, very believable and very well put together. Parts of it lit up and made noise and held things and it was a fantastic party trick. It also held up surprisingly well in the face of keg stands. Good choice.

Keith is standing directly in front of the stairs, putting them face to face for all of three seconds until she steps to the next one and she’s shorter again. His arms are crossed, showing off the muscles and the rolled sleeves of his cop costume well. It had suspenders, tight shirt, pants, and a hat that looked suspiciously familiar. If Pidge were a more suspicious person she’d have thought that Matt left the glittery ‘Babe Patrol’ cop hat behind on purpose. But that aside, he also had a plastic baton on a ribbon handle looped around his wrist and a pad of fake party violation tickets tucked into his front pants pocket. Keith was nothing if not thorough, pulling off the hot stripper cop act well.

And Shiro… He may have only been three years older than her, but he wore it well. This year marked the sixth year in a row of the particular costume, but it was doubtless that no one minded. Baggy blue jeans over cowboy boots that everyone knew were authentic, a leather vest that wasn’t, a purple bandana tied around his neck, and a real cowboy hat perched on his head like a cowboy at it’s first rodeo, just waiting to be ridden off.

Maybe that was too… much.

Pidge steps forward, flashing a smile and half turning to watch Lance come down. She could hear the tinkling of the little bell.

Lance coming down the stairs was like a princess descending the stairs at a coronation, revealing her very expensive and very unique dress and preparing to rule the kingdom. Except in this case it was Lance, rocking a crop top and shorts and preparing to rule his datemates imaginations and spank banks for the next month.

They were so, so lucky to have him.

Then they were five college kids standing at the bottom of the stairs, getting mentally prepared to go to the party.

Shiro is the one to move first, sighing and going to the front door and locking it. “Yeah, nope, we’re not making it to Rolo’s this year.”

Hunk pouts and Pidge laughs. She should have known. They were all too young and in love with each other to actually get to a house party and screw around there.

Keith crooks a finger at Lance, and that’s when things immediately get messy.

Pidge is comfortable stepping into Hunk’s space and leaning on him to watch, while Shiro leans on the wall. In reality they’re all standing pretty close together, but they usually find ways to pair off within the group. It was nearly impossible for everyone to do something at once. They’d tried, but everyone had been too tired out in the end.

Keith shoves his tongue into Lance’s mouth and smears his lipstick, which was inevitable but ultimately hilarious. Lance is still pretty, arching his back in and sliding his palms over Keith’s shirt before finding the right spots, digging his nails in, and ripping. Also hilarious, the fact that Keith had apparently bought a tear-away shirt. When had he planned on yanking that off?

Or, she wonders as she narrows her eyes, where had he planned to rip it off?

There’s no chance of getting his attention and questioning him while he has Lance dancing on his fingers- not quite literally, yet, no hands had skimmed down to his shorts yet. Pidge files the thought away for later and rubs the heel of her boot- one inch is still a heel, no matter what Matt had said when he took her to buy the shoes- against Hunk’s ankle, a surprising weak point in both the costume and the man. He snickers into her hat and shivers, sliding his hands over her sides and hips slowly, teasing back.

Shiro, on the wall, is smiling and tipping his head down to let his eyes be hidden from them. He honestly looks like a cowboy in a gay porno, ‘howdy vaqueros’ and all. One of his hands, however, betrays his interest and wanders toward his belt buckle, popping it open with a loud snap that gets everyone’s attention.

Lance pulls off of Keith with a soft sucking noise and they both look at him hungrily- or, the back of their heads suggest a hungriness about their look. Pidge assumed.

“Enjoying yourself there?” Keith asks.

Shiro smiles back, amazingly not embarrassed in the face of four pairs of eyes staring him down. He just pulls his belt off and holds it loosely for a second before snapping it. Lance jumps and shivers, and everyone wonders how messy things are going to get tonight- they only had two baths in the house, and Lance was guaranteed a bubble bath for his trouble. He was such a princess.

“Not yet, but I’m about to.” Shiro stands and turns the corner, heading for his room.

Like a trail of ducklings, they follow.

Keith lets Hunk and Shiro take over Lance for a second, pressing her up against the door of the bedroom. Shiro’s room was the biggest and had the only bed in the house that could accommodate all of them comfortably, and was a go to for nights like these. She doesn’t get much time to think about that, however, with the hand sliding into her hair and tugging hard, the blunt nails scratching over her hip, the teeth tugging on her bottom lip.

On the other side of the room, Hunk is pressing Lance into the bed as Shiro gets the belt around his arms and carefully secures them to the bedframe. Not so much that he can’t move or that it hurts, but enough. Hunk pulls off his shoes and socks before stripping himself, because his costume had been the most cumbersome.

**Author's Note:**

> the best thing abt this for me is that i'm never going back to this fic so it's just?? like this. this is it. i hope y'all liked it


End file.
